He's fairly well-written and it's clear you've paid attention to notes about the family and his upbringing, so thank you for that! However, there is one or two things you need still to adjust.Namely, we need you to add the main events in the timeline to his actual bio. Please make sure it's all together/written into the bio. When reading his background, as opposed to reading his timeline, the timeline events are absent and it makes it feel very separate and disjointed from his story as a whole.There also isn't enough information on some of his earlier events. While he was too young to necessarily remember, his parents were likely impacted, their livelihood, and you can go into that more in-depth to show your understanding of those events. You're welcome to ask the players (myself and Halo) more about how Clementine and Nathan would have been handling it. Write Oakley's feelings about some of the events too, even if he wasn't an active participant.And remember you don't need to include every event from the timeline in his bio, just two or three big ones in his life that stand out, more fleshed out! For example, his mum getting hurt is what he'd consider a tragedy, but I'd like you to talk more about how he feels about the events surrounding it himself (the Crossroads being liberated alongside Fort Evergreen) as, he was a teenager and that would be public knowledge. Let me know when it's updated!
After re-reading the application, this character is... Denied-- Just kidding! Accepted!
Thanks for making the appropriate adjustments! Your other account will be whitelisted shortly. Enjoy your new character!
I have made adjustments, let me know if there is anything else that needs to be updated!
This application is... Pending!
He's fairly well-written and it's clear you've paid attention to notes about the family and his upbringing, so thank you for that! However, there is one or two things you need still to adjust. Namely, we need you to add the main events in the timeline to his actual bio. Please make sure it's all together/written into the bio. When reading his background, as opposed to reading his timeline, the timeline events are absent and it makes it feel very separate and disjointed from his story as a whole. There also isn't enough information on some of his earlier events. While he was too young to necessarily remember, his parents were likely impacted, their livelihood, and you can go into that more in-depth to show your understanding of those events. You're welcome to ask the players (myself and Halo) more about how Clementine and Nathan would have been handling it. Write Oakley's feelings about some of the events too, even if he wasn't an active participant. And remember you don't need to include every event from the timeline in his bio, just two or three big ones in his life that stand out, more fleshed out! For example, his mum getting hurt is what he'd consider a tragedy, but I'd like you to talk more about how he feels about the events surrounding it himself (the Crossroads being liberated alongside Fort Evergreen) as, he was a teenager and that would be public knowledge. Let me know when it's updated!